You might be a Floridian if...

• "Down South" means Key West.
• "Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
• You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
• Flip-flops are everyday wear.
• Shoes are for business meetings and church.
• No, wait, flip-flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or Christmas.
• Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
• An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
• You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to or cruise to Florida.
• All the local festivals are named after a fruit, reptile or a pirate.
• A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
• You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
• Anything under 95 is just warm.
• You've hosted a hurricane party.
• You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
• You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.

Big Man Jake

My nephew, Jake Bledsoe. Women love him. Diapers fear him.